Angie Follensbee Hall

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When I ate Cheez Curls

We make choices in every moment of our lives. We choose what to eat, what to watch, what to read, and what to do with our time. Even our simplest choices have profound impact. Reflecting on our choices, thoughts, and actions is an essential component of the yoga practice.​

As a child, I consumed the fully processed and prepackaged diet of the American 1980's. I watched Saturday morning cartoons while eating heaping bowls of sugar cookie cereal, bags of bright orange cheese curls, tubes of Cheese Whiz, boxes of Little Debbie Snacks, and cans of Spaghetti-O’s. If it was edible and came in a package, I ate it. If it was on cable TV, I watched it.

In my adult years, I obviously starting making different choices. By now, most people accept that Cheese Whiz and cake snacks are not the best food choices, and that watching TV all day is not healthy. But what if we applied this thinking towards other aspects of our lives? You see, I believe that blind and unhealthy consumption applies to everything. Blind consumption, without the ability to discern, reflect, and question is harmful at best, and violent at worst.

We urgently need to question the choices we make and ask ourselves, “Am I doing this because it aligns with my values and supports me emotionally? Does it contribute something to the world? Is it harmful? Or am I doing this because I feel I 'should,' because I fear being different, and I fear change?”

Luckily for me, as a child of the 1980’s I was also given loads of free time to wander around outside, to invent, to play, and to create. During long school vacations, my mother would send me and my younger brother outside for the whole day in rain, sun, or snow (now I see she needed that quiet mom time!). We only came back in to grab a canned meal or a bag of food, and then we were outside again until dinner. This "unplugging" provided another kind of nourishment that continues to feed me to this day. My inner creative muse was constantly enchanted by the elements and the natural world. I never lost this love of creativity, and when it came time to “making a living,” I continued to choose creativity over a prepackaged life (well, most of the time...).

But it is too easy to purchase and consume the contemporary, commercial, capitalist diet of Western culture without question. I do not believe that the purpose of life is to acquire masses of wealth; own a home (or two); a car (or three); multiple credit cards; luxury cruises; online shopping; and to have our eyes glued to the news all night.

No, I am not a Luddite. I am not shunning owning a house, a car, a credit card, vacations, or shopping. In fact, I have done all these things too, and yes, I over-consumed the news as I tried to process the violent assault on our capitol this past week. What I am saying is that these things are not the foundation of what makes us happy and content. The drain and discord we feel in life is directly proportional to our relationship with these superficial pursuits. They do not provide our sense of purpose and meaning.

I believe that we are here to embrace the enchantment and mystery of our own unique voice, vision, and life path. I believe we have a responsibility to remember our unique and creative soul purpose.​

According to ancient Greek philosophy, our souls choose a life purpose before birth. You can read in depth about this belief in the Myth of Er. In this tale, the hero Er appears to die at battle but is revived and shares his own near-death experience. Er explains that after one dies, the soul goes to an interim space, passing through different gates. Each soul has complete freedom to choose its next life path. Often, this choice is based on the experience of the previous life. After a soul chooses its path, it swallows the water of forgetfulness and is reborn, remembering nothing of the world in between or the choices that were made. Accompanied by a guardian spirit, each soul is given the chance to learn and to explore this life purpose.

In Er's story, those souls who lived a mediocre life, with no particular trials or tribulations, chose to repeat the same life path out of habit and fear of risk. This ancient tale reminds us that though we bring a unique vision into the world, we sometimes fall into complacency, conformity, peer pressure, and habit. We fear taking risks, we fear discomfort, and we fear the unknown. Often, we are told by someone else to “get the reliable job,” to have that “failsafe plan,” and the most harmful tale, “creativity and creative pursuits are selfish and won’t support you.”

Our soul purpose is a kind of contract with ourselves and with the World Soul. Following our purpose isn't about serving our own selfish needs, it is about asking how our unique gifts can help serve others and contribute to a more peaceful and passionate world. We might think we are avoiding risks by consuming a prepackaged and “failsafe” life plan. But the truth is we never know exactly what is going to happen, and there is never a failsafe plan. The year 2020 and the violent terrorist attack on the capitol building last week should have made that very clear.

According to an article in The Guardian, the top regret of the dying is the wish to have lived a life true to one’s self, not the life expected by others. It is time to step up and deny a prepackaged life and embrace your innate creative impulse. Haven’t you known it all along? Haven’t you felt your heart tug at some secret longing? There is no single way to embrace your soul purpose, and that is the beauty of it. You only need to recognize the things that bring you joy and meaning, and engage in the creative process as your unique soul purpose unfolds. In fact, in this process you are very likely to make mistakes and some very big messes. Embracing your soul purpose takes courage, humility, passion, and persistence. The only guarantee is knowing that the world is waiting for you to commit to this contract with yourself.

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