How often do you find yourself in the uncomfortable position of wishing you hadn’t said yes?

Maybe you didn’t want to seem rude and you responded too quickly to a request, but deep inside you wish you just said “no”.

Personally, when I say yes to something I want it to be a full resounding “Yes!” I don’t want to have those subtle (or not so subtle) regrets and complaints. I feel it isn’t fair to the other party if I am holding silent grievances. If I am truly embracing a yes then I want to put my whole heart and soul into that thing I agreed to.

It can be easy to think that being “spiritual” or being in a service type business means that one must always say yes. One might think that somehow saying yes and aiming to please others is related to the idea of being fair and practicing ahimsa, or non-harming. But I believe that having clearly defined boundaries is something we all need to better understand and practice. 

Yoga teaches us to have boundaries. We recognize that we have a physical body with limits as we practice the physical postures, the asanas. We learn to feel and sense the periphery surface of our skin as we stretch into postures. We learn to feel and sense our muscles engage within a new posture. When we are in tune with the physical body, we can discern when we have reached a physical edge, where pushing any further will cause injury and harm. The more we practice asana the better we get at identifying physical boundaries.

Yoga also teaches us to understand our intrinsic value that extends beyond our physical self. Studies have shown that people who practice yoga regularly report an improvement in their self -esteem. But establishing your boundaries and learning to say no is rooted in much more than simple self-esteem. 

The way towards confidence in saying no lies within a deep-seated sense of self-worth. 

At the heart of Yoga is the belief that within you lies a precious jewel of incalculable value. That jewel is your soul, the essence of you, your Atman. This Atman is connected to what is called the Paramatman, the primordial Self, or the Self of All. Yoga reminds us that we are each precious beyond measure. Trouble arises from forgetting or doubting this essential self-worth. So many of us feel we are not enough, we worry over our imperfections, and we have a massive fear of rejection. These fears and doubts prevent us from drawing a boundary and saying “enough,” and they prevent us from feeling confident around saying yes or no.

But you can practice remembering your true self-worth through svadyaya, self-reflection in Yoga. Asana, pranayama, mantra, mudra, and dyhana (meditation), help you to cultivate this remembrance your true value. They are tools to help you to remember who you truly are. 

Remember your intrinsic self-worth with Musthika Mudra

See below for instructions.

Hand mudras are used in religious, spiritual, and artistic traditions around the world. Mudras are essential tools on the path of yoga and self-awareness. Mudras affect the autonomic nervous system and assist us with intentions as they direct the mind.

Mushtika Mudra helps you to remember that you are a jewel of incalculable value, and that you possess unique talents and gifts to share with the world. It is up to you to decide when and how you will share these gifts. When you understand your true value, you know when to say yes or no in many situations. Mushtika mudra helps you to overcome self-defeating habits as it awakens a more enlightened attitude of the mind and heart. It can help to reduce anxiety, self-doubt, calm your spirit and clear your mind. 

Come to a comfortable position. 

Relax your shoulders and breathe naturally.
Make your hands into two fists with the thumbs on top.

Bring your knuckles together, and tuck your hands near your heart, with your elbows at your sides. 

Hold the mudra lightly against your chest.

As you hold this mudra and breathe deeply, remember your intrinsic self-worth.

You might build the practice over time, starting with 3 minutes and building up to 10 minutes or even longer.

As with all Yoga practices, the effort, time, and dedication you offer to the practice yields the most beneficial results. May these practices such as Mushtika Mudra help you to find your way to embracing a yes or no responses with confidence and ease. 

“When you say yes to others, make sure you are not saying no to yourself.” ~Paulo Coelho

Hand mudra from the book: Mudras of India: A Comprehensive Guide to the Hand Gestures of Yoga and Indian Dance, by Revital Carroll and Cain Carroll.