I have felt heavy in my heart these past few weeks.
The burden of recent human tragedies and atrocities seems to be reflected in the very sky, at least here in Vermont, with the near constant gray clouds and rain. I know all things cycle and spiral, from the weather and the seasons to personal emotions, family dynamics, and socio-political circumstances. In these times, it is so essential to remember that the quality of our minds reflects the quality of our lives.
Like anyone with heart and compassion, the recent mass-murder-shootings in Lewiston, Maine left me weeping, confused, sad, angry and wondering what is wrong with us all. Maine is where I spent so many happy childhood summers, and then as a young mom, where I almost lost my own child one summer, just a short distance from Lewiston. When I heard of the shooting victims being sent to Maine Medical Center, I could only think of walking up and down those hospital hallways begging for my own child's life to be spared. My heart just aches and aches for the families who went out for a night of fun and experienced their absolute worst nightmare.
I am reminded that life will never be at a stand-still and perfectly achieved state. It is ever-flowing and always adjusting, and often that means finding your way through the pain in a cyclical pattern. Writer Maria Popova recently shared the following quote by Alain de Botton in The Marginalian, and it spoke to me of how to handle all we are dealing with in our human world at this time:
“A healthy mind knows how to hope; it identifies and then hangs on tenaciously to a few reasons to keep going. Grounds for despair, anger, and sadness are, of course, all around. But the healthy mind knows how to bracket negativity in the name of endurance. It clings to evidence of what is still good and kind. It remembers to appreciate; it can — despite everything — still look forward to a hot bath, some dried fruit or dark chocolate, a chat with a friend, or a satisfying day of work. It refuses to let itself be silenced by all the many sensible arguments in favor of rage and despondency.” –Alain de Botton
Viktor Frankl, after surviving the gruesome experience of Auschwitz, understood all too intimately how the heaviness in the world must be balanced by a reason to keep going. It was the quest for meaning which sustained him. Frankl learned to find meaning in three key ways: purposeful work, love, and courage in the face of difficulty. In Man’s Search for Meaning, he wrote:
“We can answer these questions from experience as well as on principle. The experiences of camp life shows that man does have a choice of action. … Man can preserve a vestige of spiritual freedom, of independence of mind, even in such terrible conditions of psychic and physical stress.[…]Everything can be taken from a man but one thing: the last of the human freedoms — to choose one’s attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one’s own way.”
And he continues…
“If there is a meaning in life at all, then there must be a meaning in suffering. Suffering is an ineradicable part of life, even as fate and death. Without suffering and death human life cannot be complete…The way in which a man accepts his fate and all the suffering it entails, the way in which he takes up his cross, gives him ample opportunity — even under the most difficult circumstances — to add a deeper meaning to his life…Everywhere man is confronted with fate, with the chance of achieving something through his own suffering.”
What helps me pull through the dark skies is to have a rhythm and routine to my days. This helps with my own mental state and well-being. It also helps me to remember that even small acts of kindness can help the world be a better place, and so I seek ways to lessen the suffering of others, even if those acts seem so very small.
It's been over a week since the atrocities, but the community in Maine still needs support. If you feel compelled to help the Lewiston community in this time of need this website offers ways to support victims, families, and the community at large.
I have also felt called to donate regularly to Sandy Hook Promise, where they envision the future free from the fear of shootings and acts of violence.
And below, in my book share this week, you will find My First and Only Love: A Novel by Sahar Khalifeh (Author), translated by Aida Bamia. A deeply poetic account of love and resistance through a young girl’s eyes by acclaimed writer, Sahar Khalifeh, called "the Virginia Woolf of Palestinian literature” (Börsenblatt).
May we all work together to make all beings everywhere be happy and free.
With Love and Tenderness,
Angie 🖤
"The one thing you can't take away from me is the way I choose to respond to what you do to me. The last of one's freedoms is to choose one's attitude in any given circumstance. Happiness cannot be pursued; it must ensue. Life is never made unbearable by circumstances, but only by lack of meaning and purpose." –Viktor Frankl
