Do you struggle with making big decisions?
Do you find yourself caught up in thoughts like "Is this the right choice? What if I mess up? What if it isn't successful?"
And in that struggle, do you end up making no choice at all?
Psychologist Dr. Ellen Langer says that instead of worrying about making the right decision, we should just make the decision right.
I struggle with this too. Back in the summer, I had the idea to open an art gallery. I felt like I had to pursue this idea, but I also had some serious doubts that it was something I could really fit into my life, and if it was something I actually even wanted. But I couldn't get the idea out of my head.
Ultimately, I decided that if I didn't give it a try, I would always wonder if it was something I wanted to do. So I decided to make the decision right. I figured out the details and I got to work bringing it to life.
Everyone who visited loved the gallery said it had great energy. We put so much heart and soul into creating a beautiful space. We had the praise of the town, very well attended events and readings, and out-of-town visitors every weekend. Honestly, we couldn't have achieved all that success without of all my many, many yoga students who went out of their way to visit and support us.
And that means YOU, so thank you!!!
But personally, we were all feeling stretched way too thin. Each week I felt less and less joy, and more and more discontent with what was basically the job of running a retail store.
Josh and I hadn't had a full weekend off together since July of 2023 (even when we tried to take a little time during the holidays, we ended up at the gallery every day to work on the new show).
Life was feeling completely out of balance. I was struggling to fit in time to deal with many aspects of my other yoga work, and my art making completely fell off pretty quickly.
We felt that the work of running the gallery wasn't worth the life we were living, so it was time to make a new decision, and to make that decision right.
In early February we "softly" announced that we were closing the gallery in Windsor (as I write this, the gallery is officially closed). We figured out all the details, made a plan, and began the process of closing down.
Some people might consider it a failure to open a retail space like a gallery, only to close it six months later. But I consider the gallery to have been a success. We took on the task with a full heart and we created a beautiful space with the support of our local community. We brought more art into the world, and that felt right for that span of time.
Back when we first opened the gallery, we were interviewed by our local newspaper, The Valley News. The reporter asked me how I defined "success."
I think he was fishing for a money-based business answer. But I told the reporter that I probably had an unconventional definition. To me, success isn't attached to a dollar amount, or to some abstract business metric.
Success to me is completely dependent on how happy or content I am with what I choose to take on. And that word "choose" is an important aspect of how I define success.
Whatever I choose to take on has to feel aligned to my sense of purpose, identity, and satisfaction or contentment. I have to feel good doing the work.
Like, really good, in my heart and soul good.
Money is rarely my primary reason for making a decision. Yes, it certainly is a consideration–but if I feel really good about a task, I can keep doing that work for a very long time regardless of how much money it brings in.
Most people assume that when one closes a business, they do so for solely financial reasons. And that's probably true a lot of the time. The gallery in Windsor was hitting the basic financial goals I had hoped for. We were paying the bills each month, paying our artists, and we were able to tuck away a little bit of extra savings each month to help with the slower season.
But the real success in running the space was in the lessons we learned by taking a risk and being willing to get a little messy. The experience helped us to reevaluate what was truly important––our time together and what we believe is our true work in the world.
Success is going to look like a lot of different things to a lot of different people, and it is going to change over the course of your entire life. The truth is, there isn't just one right way to go about anything. There are an infinite number of paths you could take, so you might as well figure out how to make one choice, and to make it right for the time being. You can always change it up as you go along.
I am feeling the success and satisfaction of my just-right-for-now choices.
